他：（不理。庄严肃穆。）

不欢而散。

Delayed reaction 。

一口气，憋到两星期后才爆发出来。还是在日记里。

05/18/2005

I just couldn’t position myself with him anymore…I don’t feel comfortable around him because he judges too much. But I still have feelings for him. I wish he could just love me unconditionally. At some level, I feel been abandoned. He was so intimate with me at some point, then as soon as I have some expectation, he drops me…I didn’t like it to be this way. Why!! Why!! How do I pull myself out of this dead corner and feel loved and confident again… I wish there’s some kind of magic potion…

突然想起那个下雨的星期天，他让我陪他下山买报纸，然后他说“我要上楼睡觉去了”。

是的，他就是这样说的，但他没说“你回去吧”。

也许他是在邀请我一起上楼去睡觉？不然的话，他应该假模假式地陪我坐会，或者叫我回家。

是的，肯定是这样的！只怪我太没悟性了。